Mom
The way I loved her
I loved her
Not cared, held dear, tho I did
But loved
With everything that I was I loved her
The first time I ever loved, it was her,
It was everything I had never known
Mom, I was so scared
Of loving anyone
And myself
I saw you wasting away after dad
And I was scared
But then here she was , and I thought maybe, maybe
Our love wasn’t yours,
I could love without finding myself lonely and broken and too old to try again, mom
And I’m still scared, but I’ll love her anyway
And mom, mom please listen to me
You ask me why she has to be my girlfriend
Why not stay friends, why are you doing this Francesca it’s not right for you, why do you crawl into the feeling of being different why do you want to be different, Francesca please stop
But mom
I’m not scared anymore
I’m not scared of loving her
It’s the most simple thing I’ve ever done
It’s the most right, beautiful thing I can do
Why are you scared mom?
I’m not going to break apart, people won’t think you’re a bad mom, mom.
I promise
I love her
And I write her poems
And songs
And I sing to her that one song you heard on the radio years ago and you told me, mom you told me that if anyone loved me like that I needed to not let him go
I love her like that, mom I won’t let her go
So I write her something more
And when it’s too much I talk to her and hope she’ll hear in my voice everything I can’t say
Mom I sing to her and suddenly those cheesy ass lyrics make sense
Mom I’m scared of dying again
